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I had a completely different post planned for today, but my RSS reading has uncovered a pattern of posts talking about Heath Ledger dying, depression and Seasonal Affective Disorder. As someone who’s dealt with S.A.D. and bouts of depression for many years, I’ve learned that there is no magic formula that will make it all better. Through a lot of trial and even more error, I HAVE figured out that there are some behaviors that are sure to make it all worse. That’s the angle I want to take in post.

Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor, therapist, shrink, priest, or licensed electrician. If you are in pain - physical, psychological or otherwise - PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE get medical help. If it’s truly dire, call 1.800.SUICIDE immediately! There is no shame in asking for help, ever.

With that being said, here’s what I’ve learned from my own bad example over the years:

1. Do Not Assume It’s “Just the Winter Blues.” S.A.D. is a real disorder, just ask the Mayo Clinic. Medical conditions have medical treatments such a drug therapy, talk therapy and light therapy. If you can’t function in your normal life during the dark autumn and winter months, talk to a doctor. If your doctor says something asinine like, “It’s all in your head,” (yes, that really happened to me) find a new doctor.
2. Do Not Load Up on High Carb and High Fat Foods. I know it’s tempting to sit on the couch and eat potato chips and M&Ms all winter, and it’s okay to do that sometimes, but make sure to get some fruits and veggies, too. Try having a salad or some clear soup before lunch and dinner. Your hips and your mood will thank you.
3. Do Not Skip All Exercise and Fresh Air. Baby, it’s cold outside and the last thing you want to do is venture outdoors, but your body is designed to move. Any type of exercise at all - even slipping around on the ice for 10 minutes at lunch - will pump some blood and endorphins to your brain. Even a cloudy day outdoors will send more light to your brain than sitting in a brightly lit office all day.
4. Do Not Sit in the Dark. I spent an entire Chicago winter napping on the couch watching bad daytime television. It drove my roommate crazy and nearly drove me to the brink of insanity. Full-spectrum lighting is your friend. If you can’t find full-spectrum bulbs at your local home improvement store, try a simple Google product search. They are energy efficient and affordable instant mood boosters.
5. Do Not Commit to Lots of Stressful Activities. Most people have lower energy levels in the winter, even if they don’t have full-fledged S.A.D. The dark days of January are not the time to begin your novel, become president of the board, or plan the social event of the season. Cut back on non-productive, stressful interactions as much as possible, at work and in your personal life.
6. Do Not Avoid Your Friends and Family. This may seem like a contradiction to item 5, but it’s really and extension of the theme. Save your social energy to be around people that you enjoy and make you laugh. I rarely have enough spare energy in the winter to make nice with people that I don’t like. I ALWAYS feel better after a meal or movie with my siblings or close friends. Also, this is a great opportunity to shamelessly milk physical affection from your Significant Other if possible. Familiar touch is a great mood booster!
7. Do Not Feel Bad Because You Feel Down. Let’s revisit #1. S.A.D. is a medical condition - like the flu. You don’t feel bad about yourself when you get the flu, so quit the head games about dealing with S.A.D. I have parked a huge light therapy lamp on my desk and tell all my co-workers about my condition whenever they ask. I live in Michigan. It’s dark. I get tired and depressed. That doesn’t make me weak, and it doesn’t make you weak either.

I really, truly hope this is helpful. If it isn’t just remember, only 60 more days until Spring And leave better ideas in the comments!

Photo courtesy of kearley.

In my post What is Tapping and How Can It Help You?, I explained that tapping is a tool derived from Emotional Freedom Techniques, or EFT. Essentially, the theory of EFT is that negative emotions are caused by disturbances in the body’s energy field. By identifying the negative emotions that are causing you distress and tapping on certain points on your body, you can gain nearly instant relief from symptoms of anxiety, depression, or just plain negative thinking.

As I said in the post, I had immediate positive results with tapping as soon as I tried it. Over the past few months I have watched more of the videos at Tapping.com and lurked in the forums on its companion site, TappingForum.com. I learned that there are more ways to apply tapping than to just relieve a high level of stress or anxiety. In fact, it seemed like others have had great results using tapping to eliminate all types of negative beliefs - even some that they weren’t even conscious of until they started to explore them in more detail.

I decided to go a little deeper in my exploration of tapping, and the Tap Yourself Free E-book available at Tapping.com seemed like a great place to start.

What is It and What do you Get?
Tap Yourself Free is actually a package of three E-books that are designed to introduce you to the tapping process and give you concrete ways to apply this set of tools in your daily life. It also includes access to a private forum for ongoing support. Currently the package sells for $39 U.S. and is available as an instant download. The author of the books goes by the name Magnus and he is the same person that appears in the instructional videos on Tapping.com and is also active at TappingForum.com. Let’s dive in a little closer and look at each of the three books.

[Read more →]

This edition of ChangeLinks features lots of great tips and tools about a subject that is near and dear to many of our hearts: positive thinking. It seems like we all want to get better at this skill, but progress can be frustratingly slow - at least for me.

Fortunately, these bloggers have shared ideas that helped make them happier and their thoughts more positive. Perhaps they’ll work for you.

Complaining is a big cause of unhappiness, and it’s one that is almost epidemic in a lot of families, offices, and groups of friends. Two A-list bloggers have written some great advice for putting the kibosh on this bad habit. In How to Stop Complaining, Steve Pavlina suggests observing your negative thoughts from a distance and recognizing that they are not your identity. He argues that assuming total responsibility for everything in your life gives you action steps beyond complaining.

On a more concrete level, Tim Ferris shared his Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment. In this experiment, he wore a wristband which he had to move to the other wrist every time he complained. I’m a big fan of this technique because it reinforces mindfulness and gradually retrains thought patterns.

David Rogers at Confident1.com has more practical tips for training your mind. His post, Distract Yourself From Self Talk, suggests that you use a disruption technique such as clapping your hands to interrupt a negative thought.

Some of the most positive people I know are always working in pursuit of their dreams, but they do so in very down-to-earth and achievable ways. The Simple Dollar post, When Everyday Life Gets in the Way of Your Dreams shares a great process for continuing to work towards those dreams while still fulfilling your responsibilities at work, with your family, and in your community.

Finally, for those of you interested in learning about some of the more theoretical aspects of happiness and positive thinking, Loving-awareness.org offers Joy at All Times. This post features a great illustration of the spectrum of joy which starts at joy at just being alive and goes all the way through the joy of being one with everything.

So, here you have a great collection of ways to increase your positivity within a few days. What are you waiting for? Grab yourself a rubber band and start thinking positively Then come back and tell us about your experiences in the comments.

In 2008, what will your path look like?

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This is the time of year when we all sit around and think about ways that we can torture ourselves over the next twelve months in the hope that our suffering, guilt, pain and knee injuries can somehow leave us better in December than we are today. The impetus for this cycle usually begins with a New Year’s Resolution, but it could also be called a Goal. In this post, I’ll argue that traditional goals aren’t the only path to a happy and rewarding life.

S.M.A.R.T. is No Way to Go Through Life, Son
All the traditional advice about self improvement and goal setting teaches that we should set goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound (S.M.A.R.T.) to be optimally successful. In this line a thinking, it’s bad to have a resolution to be more physically fit this year. A great resolution would be, “I want to complete a 5K running race in under 25 minutes by June this year.”

This is all well and good for things that are simple in concept and easy to quantify, but I think this way of formulating goals really misses out on a key point: Humans aren’t good at figuring out what specific actions will make them happy.

I’m sure if you think about it hard enough, you can come up with the name of a person that you know who set very specific goals, worked toward them relentlessly, achieved those goals, and is completely and utterly miserable because of it. In my experience, there’s one in every family (Hi, cuz)

It seems to me that we are pretty good at figuring out what Feels Good, but not at identifying the actions that will get us to those feelings. When we become hell-bent on their being One Best Way to achieve our goals, we become blind to other paths and choices that may be more efficient, pleasurable or accessible.

That’s why we need to be more nimble in our planning.

The Compass Approach
Being nimble is the whole idea behind the Compass, Not a Map approach to life planning. By choosing a direction to travel in, but not a specific path to take, you leave many options open and have the ability to adapt as circumstances shift around you.

For example, you may decide that you want to become an expert in Information Technology. At this point in time, one programming language may be preeminent in your chosen field, but we all know that code comes and goes. As you work in the direction of your dream, you can choose the specific tools and routes that are best suited to the moment without locking yourself into one confined area.

By using the Compass Approach, you keep your eyes open to the world and are better able to accept opportunities as they come. You are also able to recognize when a slight shift in direction might actually be the crooked path that is faster than the straight line.

An Example From My Life
Just two days ago, I was writing about my image for the future year and a specific step that I want to take this month to get closer to that image. What I didn’t write about was several more steps that I charted out on a long car ride. Without even realizing it, I had locked myself into a pretty rigid schedule for the next month. All of the activities that I pre-selected were good and helpful, but they didn’t leave me any room to be nimble.

Well, another opportunity has presented itself and I’ve had to readjust my plans. This is a move that has the potential to move me along in the direction of adding more value to my blog, but it does so in a different way than I had envisioned. I don’t think it will affect my Sunday afternoon planning sessions, but it will probably interfere with some of the other activities I sketched out, so they will have to go if necessary.

Isn’t it great how life teaches us exactly what we need to learn?

Have you ever had the opportunity to learn to be nimble because life brought you new opportunities? Take a moment to share your story in the comments.

Photos courtesy of Bluedaisy and Weirdvis. As always, credit for Compass, Not a Map goes to Stephen Shapiro and his awesome book, Goal-Free Living.

If you’ve ever tried to lose weight, get better grades in school, or train for an athletic competition, someone has probably told you, “Get a partner!” The idea is that being accountable to another person and having a support system is great reinforcement as you journey toward your goal. I’ve had great success with this in the past and have been seeking support systems recently to help me achieve new goals.

I am excited that there’s now an entire community on the Web devoted to supporting people working on their personal development.

As you can see, it’s called Personal Development Partners, and it’s a new community site dedicated solely to personal development. It just so happens that today is the last day of a huge membership drive and is a great time to join. The community has grown enormously over the past few weeks so the discussion boards are starting to see a good amount of activity.

One unique aspect to this site is a group called the Senior Thought Leaders. These include some well known personal development bloggers like Priscilla Palmer, Aaron Potts, and Dave Olson. From what I’ve seen, all of the Senior Thought Leaders are quite active in the discussion boards and more than willing to give advice and feedback.

Another great feature is the Forum dedicated to forming partnerships and Mastermind groups where members support each other in achieving goals. It’s one of the most popular forums on the site and one where I plan to participate the most.

I joined a couple of weeks ago at the free level which gives you access to most of the discussion boards and a MySpace-esque user profile page with lots of customization and social media options. A couple of days ago, I decided to upgrade to the Premium level (for the bargain price of $10 for 6 months!) to gain access to the electronic resources contributed by the Senior Thought Leaders. To see what’s available have a look a this list. I’ve downloaded a couple of the ebooks and audio selections and am enjoying those as well. You’ll have to hurry is you want to get in at the $10 price, because it’s going up to $20 for 6 months tomorrow!

If you have any interest in working with others to achieve your personal development goals, I encourage you to check out Personal Development Partners. When you sign up, be sure to introduce yourself!