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Every day we each make hundreds, maybe even thousands of decisions. Most of our decisions are tiny, almost unnoticeable moments that pass by without notice. We decide whether to get out of bed or hit the ‘Snooze’ button on the alarm. We choose khakis or blue trousers to wear to work. We select the donut with pink sprinkles over the plain glazed. Most of the time we aren’t even aware that we have made a choice.

That may be okay for small choices, but decision making is a vital part of the change process. Unless we plan to just hang around while life happens to us and our organizations, at some point we will have to make decisions about out future actions

When I sat down to really dissect what decision making looks like, I realized that it is much more complex than it seems I went looking around the ‘net and in business management books and found many tools and techniques for making decisions. This suggests that making decisions is actually quite difficult for most people, despite it being a common activity.

Definition
There are many, many definitions of decision making. The common elements that make up a decision among the definitions I have seen seem to be:

• Conscious Thought. Decision making has to include conscious thought. This rules out actions done through habit or instinct. Breathing isn’t really a choice. In some cases, taking addictive drugs is no longer a choice.
• Two or More Possible Actions. If you only have one option, you can’t actually make a decision. Ford offered the Model T in “any color you want, as long as it’s black.” There were no other options, so the buyer had no real choice of color.
• Moment of Selection. For a real decision to be made, you have to select from the possible options. Note that this selection may mean doing nothing or choosing not to decide. However, the absence of action is still a choice. For example, I can choose to ignore my phone – that is a decision in which I make a choice to not take action.

To sum all of these elements up, it seems that Decision Making = Thought + Possible Actions + Active Selection.

Rock, Paper, Scissors
One of the obstacles to making good decisions seems to be the overabundance of information and possible choices currently available to us. Other people have written extensively about the tyranny of choice – the concept that we have so many choices available to us now that we get overwhelmed just buying dishwasher soap. In many cases we seek out much more information than is needed to make an “informed” choice and we end up paralyzed.

For those of us who tend to suffer from analysis paralysis, I have good news. As I’ve mentioned before on this blog, in many cases it doesn’t really matter what you decide.

The key to being happy with a decision is to remain committed to the decision that you’ve made and realize that it leads down a road that is just as good as any other. This is easier said than done, especially in business where you might meet resistance at the slightest hint that a decision isn’t working. However, movement in any direction will lead to more and better feedback than just standing still and “planning to plan.”

Key to Change
As you can see, making decisions is one of the key steps in a change process. In fact, it’s so powerful that well-know self improvement and personal development teachers recommend practicing decision making as a first step in changing your life.

My assignment to you is to take one day this week to practice making as many conscious decisions as possible. When you finish you day, make sure to come back and tell us all about it in the comments!

*Photo by Jill Greenseth

When I was about 9 years old I went through an incredible growth spurt. As my mother says, I “shot up like a weed,” and grew about 4 inches in a few months.

What I most remember about this time was how uncomfortable I was. My leg muscles were always tight and cramped to the point that it hurt to sit still. I became incredibly clumsy and had to quit my gymnastics classes, which I was pretty good at previously. I was also hungry ALL THE TIME. It sometimes felt like I literally could not put food into my mouth fast enough.

The problems I experienced all stemmed from one issue: the body I had no longer fit the body I was growing into.

I’ve had similar experiences in my emotional and psychological state as well. At times I’ve felt like my current life didn’t quite “fit,” but I wasn’t yet ready to take a step toward my next stage.

A good friend is going through this right now. She is in the process of ending a long-term relationship, but her actions tell me that she isn’t ready to be done with that part of her past yet. The result is this hybrid state of existence that isn’t really in the relationship, but still isn’t out of the relationship. She’s living in the in between right now, working through the last few issues she needs to resolve and trying to figure out what her future is going to look like.

That in between place can be pretty painful, but it also provides an opportunity to live in the discomfort and use it to prepare for the future. It seems to me that every significant change involves a painful time of metamorphosis. Do you think the caterpillar enjoys being stuck in a cocoon? It sure doesn’t look fun!

So, if you are stuck in the doldrums of a life change, what can you do to make the most of it?

• Sit with the pain. Any change or move in a different direction means leaving something behind. Whether it’s a relationship, a former career, or just being able to wear Wonder Woman Underoos, take some time to grieve the end of that life stage. It might be helpful to have a small “funeral” of sorts to say goodbye.

• Take some time to reflect. Do a little analysis on your previous life stage. Decide what you’d like to keep from it and what you’d like to change. Maybe you did a great job being a supportive partner but need to improve on taking care of your own needs. Maybe you still want to wear playful underwear, but realize pink ponytail holders aren’t the look for you anymore. Human beings seem to be wired to want progress all the time. Be willing to use the pause in your progress to gather more information for better decision making in the future. This is a way to help make sure you don’t keep repeating the mistakes from your past.

• Visualize your ideal future. Once you’ve dissected the past sufficiently, take the information you’ve gathered to inform your vision of your ideal future. Be very detailed and specific. If you’re looking for a new partner, make a list of 100 qualities you want that person to have. If you’re changing the way you dress, select the types of lines you want your clothes to have, the colors, the fabrics. This doesn’t mean that you’ll get everything you want, but it will give you guidelines to work from when making future decisions.

Waking up one morning and realizing that your life doesn’t fit you anymore is a difficult experience, but it is also necessary if we want to change and grow. I hope these tips will help you make the most of that transition time and ultimately lead to a better future.

As always, if you have stories to share about transformation, please tell us about them in the comments.

Photo taken from Flickr.
Title: Big ‘Sprout’ inside the Childrens’ Garden’s Giant Seed
Username: Lori; Date Taken: 2004-02-11 22:15:24