I’m also in the process of putting together some awesome stuff for the first couple of weeks of January. Those awesome things include:

1. The release of Changes That Stick: How to Make Lasting Changes, the ebook. This is going to be based on my blog series of the same name, but will include lots of additional content. I am working to create a solid resource that helps you make real changes to your life. The best part is that it will be 100% free and is an ethical bribe to convince you to sign up for…
2. The Lasting Changes Newsletter. I will be launching my newsletter during the first week of January, and I hope that you’ll be one of my first subscribers. The newsletter will feature content that you won’t find on the blog, and will be focused on making positive changes in your life and doing that in ways that are enjoyable and fulfilling. It will be a nice complement to a new series on the blog about…
3. Living Your Best Life in 2009. If Oprah can do it, so can I! The first two weeks of 2009 are going to feature a ton of content on how you can get closer to your best life, one small step at a time. This series will show you how taking one small action in just 5 minutes to 1 hour every day will help you live the life you desire, in less time than you think.

I hope you have a great Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza/Festivus/New Year. 2009 is going to be awesome, and I’m glad that you’ll be here for the ride!! Be sure to subscribe to free site updates through an RSS reader or by email so you don’t miss a thing!

Photo by Sophie.

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Tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the United States. It is the one day a year that everyone in the country is supposed to list a few things that he or she is grateful for – and then promptly eat themselves sick!

I have to admit that I did not appreciate Thanksgiving until pretty recently. It struck me as having all of the hassle of Christmas, without any of the presents. In the past few years, however, I’ve been closely looking at the practice of gratitude and I’ve become convinced that it’s a good thing to engage in far more often that one time per year.

Why Does Gratitude Take Practice?

Have you ever noticed how much of our daily conversations revolve around complaining of some type? I recently tried to go 48 hours without complaining, and I wasn’t very successful! Unfortunately, our brains seem to be wired to notice negative things more than we notice the positive. Turning this around takes some daily practice and habit formation.

Buddhist monks and other spiritual types make the daily practice of gratitude a part of their spiritual development. They keep a daily gratitude list, give thanks to others for very small things, and generally try to embody gratitude as a way of life. You may not have to go that far, but I think there is a lot to be gained from practicing gratitude regularly.

What Do I Get From Being Grateful?

According to one study, excessive complaining and “venting” of frustrations can lead to depression. We often think that “letting it all out” will make us feel better, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. In fact, the opposite often happens and we end up feeling worse, or coaxing our friends into telling us just how bad we have it.

Wallowing in self pity only hampers personal development. We can get demotivated, feel like a victim, and convince ourselves that there is nothing good to build upon in our lives if we get too far into complaining. By intentionally practicing gratitude you can open up your vision to all of the good things you have going for you (hint: there are probably a lot). When you know what you have available, you can see more possibilities for the future and start develop those things, making your life even better. It’s a positive spiral that feels really great when you really get cranking.

A Challenge For You

As part of your Thanksgiving holiday, think of at least 2 things that you are grateful for. Write them down, share them in the comments, or do the easy thing and share them at the What’s Right With You? post at Creating a Better Life. Here is my contribution:

Many things are right in my life at this moment. I have many, many options for the future and I’m excited about taking different paths in the next year. I have enough money to sustain me for quite a while. I have great friends who live in great place, and I have an awesome partner who is smart AND good looking! All in all, I live a pretty charmed life.

For extra credit, take someone aside before dinner tomorrow and let them know how grateful you are to have him or her in your life.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Photo by eekim.

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photo credit: d.billy

Well, I watch television. By your standards, I might watch a lot of television. I find it very helpful at times and I’m going to tell you why.

Open Up My Head and Let Me Out

I’m attending a conference this week. It’s a huge conference with sessions ever 1 1/2 hours. Each session include 3 or 4 presentations. Plus, there are plenaries (that’s fancy conference talk for speeches and discussions) at breakfast, lunch, and cocktail hour. This means that in the course of a 12 hour day, I could be exposed to 18-20 REALLY BIG IDEAS. I’m talking about ideas that have huge implications for the way I work, and the way I approach my professional field.

In addition to that, there are side conversations with many, many people. There are also dinners with colleagues and professional friends. Throw in the stress of traveling to a new city (Philadelphia) in spotty weather, a hotel room mix up that resulted in a late night cab ride to New Jersey and you’ve got the perfect recipe for a brain that has just turned to jelly!

I’m an introvert by nature, and I find all this interaction both overstimulating and completely exhausting.

At the end of a long day, I need to watch me some sweet, mindless television to turn it all off.

Alpha Waves, Sweet Alpha Waves

It’s no secret that watching television produces almost instant relaxation. Why is that? It’s because television causes our brains to slip from the more active beta brainwaves to the more relaxed and unfocused alpha brain waves. Normally this isn’t the most desirable thing (think teenager drooling on himself while watching hours upon hours of The Hills!), but in the case of my overheated brain it feels like heaven!

During the day right now I’m probably in very active beta for a long time. I’m taking in new information, doing a lot of visualization new possibilities, forming new neural connections – and I have to remember to use all the proper utensils when I eat! Television offers instant access to the more laid back areas of my brain.

There are lots of things that we can do to relax. Exercise, meditation, and prayer are just a few of them. However, television is a shortcut. And right now I’m really, really tired so I need shortcuts. At the end of the day I can just hobble back to my standard issue hotel room, flick on the old boob tube, and finally start to unwind.

Why is Television Addicting?

Like anything that influences your brain waves, television can be highly addicting. The signs of massive American television addiction are everywhere. Just count the number of TVs in your house right now. If you’re like most people, your home has more televisions that humans in it. Some studies suggest that the average American watches more than 4 hours per day of television – at least half of our leisure time. I know I’ve been guilty of this at times, and you probably have to. Why is it that television seems to suck you in, even when you don’t want to watch?

Have you ever been in a public place like a doctor’s office or airport where a television is playing in the background? You may have no intention of watching it – it’s probably tuned to CNN or some really bad soap opera – but you find yourself staring at it within seconds?

Well, it seems that our survival instinct to observe movement (pdf) is to blame. We are hard wired to pay attention to things that are changing orientation in our physical space, and television provides constant novelty and change to our visual field. Couple this unavoidable attraction with brain wave alteration and you’ve just built the perfect drug.

But all is not lost. You don’t have to be a TV junky. If you really want to cut back on your television watching you can do it. The solution is pretty simple really. Are you ready for it?

Seriously?

Are you sure you can handle it?

Okay, here’s the secret: Get Out of the House and Do Stuff With Other Humans.

If you’re not at home all alone and bored out of your mind, you probably won’t watch television.

Okay, enough of me being an ass. If you have serious suggestions that will actually help people cut back on television watching, please leave your suggestions in the comments. And forgive me, it’s been a long week

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photo credit: ocean yamaha

I was planning to post the next installment of my Changes That Stick series today, but then decided that a) I’m too busy watching election stuff to write it (yes, the Media Fast is officially over now – I blame Saturday Night Live for being too damned funny!!) and b) you’re too busy watching election stuff to read it! So stay tuned for it tomorrow!

In the meantime – go vote! And if you think it’s too hard to wait an hour or two in line, check out what my friend Sam went through to vote by absentee ballot while he is travelling around the world.

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Note: Be sure to read through to the end for my book giveaway contest!

In this book, Steve takes on the daunting task of creating what I would call a unified theory of personal development. (You know, kind of like what Stephen Hawking tried to do for physics!).

The book is divided into two parts: Fundamental Principles and Practical Application. In my opinion, the practical application section of the book is very similar to Steve’s blog. There are sections on establishing positive habits, finding a meaningful career, health (veganism is strongly featured), and the other areas you can find in the blog. I wouldn’t buy the book for this section. What makes it worth $16 is…

The Fundamental Principles

The foundation of personal development advanced in this book is based on seven fundamental principles. The diagram you see here is used throughout the book to illustrate the seven principles. In Steve’s theory, not all seven are created equal. He sees Truth, Love and Power are core principles and stand on their own. You can think of them as primary colors.

The three sides of the triangle, Oneness, Authority and Courage combine two of the core principles, the way yellow and blue make green. Courage=Power+Love. Oneness=Love+Truth. Authority=Truth+Power. Finally, Intelligence is the combination of all the rest of the principles.

Steve explains all of these principles in great detail. I selected a short excerpt from his chapter on Truth to illustrate:

Reality is the ultimate arbiter of truth. If you thoughts, beliefs, and actions aren’t aligned with truth, your results will suffer. Positioning yourself in this way isn’t enough to guarantee success, but siding with falsehood is enough to guarantee failure. When you align yourself with truth, your troubles won’t fix themselves overnight, but you’ll be taking an important step in the right direction.

This goes on for several pages.

All of the chapters in Part 1 feature exercises intended to help you develop your capacity to live each of these principles. Some of them have been featured on the blog, but others are new. Steve is careful to point out that all of the principles have to be applied equally, or you will end up with an imbalance which could lead to less than optimal behavior. For example, if you overdevelop your capacity for Power and don’t develop Love, you could end up as the CEO of the next Enron. In an ideal path of personal development, you will become well rounded (or should I say an Equilateral Triangle!)

To Buy or Not to Buy?

Personal Development for Smart People is the best book written by a blogger that I have ever read. Steve Pavlina is a masterful writer who has developed his own, unique theory of personal development. This book is much more than a compilation of blog posts. However, the writing style is very accessible to someone accustomed to reading blogs. The text is broken up into short sections which are easy to read. Part 1 needs to be read sequentially, but Part 2 can be read in any order depending on which area interests you at the moment. Overall, the book is blog-like in the best possible way.

Steve is a computer programmer and mathematician by training and he is definitely a left-brained thinker. The theory behind his principles is quite mathematical feeling. It’s a strong contrast to a lot of the touchy-feely stuff that tends to be featured in personal development books.

If you follow Steve’s blog and enjoy it, I know that you will enjoy the book and take away many powerful insights. If you don’t know Steve’s work, but you are interested in personal development in general and especially the theories behind personal development, you will find this book delightful. If you are just looking for practical application and don’t have an interest in theoretical models, you are probably best served by reading through the hundreds of pages of Steve’s archives.

Of course, if you do decide to purchase the book, I would love it if you use the link from this post. I get a (very) small percentage of all sales, which goes to support the operating costs for this site.

Want a Copy?

Hay House was kind enough to send me a free copy of this book for review purposes. I would like to pass it on to someone who will enjoy it. If you would like my marked up, written in copy, leave a comment below describing one issue related to personal development and/or personal change that you would like to learn more about on this site. The winner will be chosen randomly using Post-its and a baseball hat by Friday, October 17.

Update: I’ve conducted a highly unscientific drawing and the lucky winner is JoAnn! Thanks to everyone who left comments. I’ll be covering some of the suggested topics in upcoming posts. – MG

My thanks to Hay House for allowing me to use the triangle graphic from the book.

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