Bas is a really smart and nice guy who asked me some pretty pointed questions about flexible personal development and my compass direction method of planning (or should I say, anti-planning?). A few of the highlights include:

1. Why personal development can make organizational change easier
2. How to “bootstrap” your own personal development
3. Why flexible, frequent planning is the most effective method for most organizations

He recorded our conversation and posted it on YouTube. You can watch it below [note: if you're reading this in a RSS reader, you may have to click through to the blog to see the video], but be sure to visit Bas’ post to join in the discussion on this really cool subject.

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It’s a New Year, and if you’re anything like me, I bet you’re full of energy and ready to make a lot of positive changes in your life. The bad news is, this energy isn’t going to last! Within a few weeks (or maybe even a few days!) life is going to get in the way and your attention is going to move on to something that seems more urgent.

So we’ve got to act fast. Today is the day to start moving in the direction you want to go. If you don’t start now, you may just put it off for another year, or two, or forever! Then one day you’ll wake up and realize that you’ve missed your chance to do something incredible. Life is short and I don’t want that to happen to me or to you!

That is why I’ve put together a ton of motivational and useful content over the next two weeks. I hope you’ll follow along, do the exercises I share, think about what your life looks like now and what you want it to be in the future, and most importantly, start to take ACTION toward making it happen!!

How is This Not a New Year’s Resolution?

On the surface, this process may seem a lot like what many of us go through when we make New Year’s resolutions and we all know that those don’t work. Bear with me, and I’ll show you how this process is very different. This site is about change, and how to work with change, rather than fight against it. I’ve searched far and wide to find ways to change my life for the better even though the world is changing, and I’m going to share a very unique way of thinking with you. I hope it benefits you in the same way it has helped me.

I call this process Traveling by Your Inner Compass. It’s a lot different than the typical SMART goals that most coaches and counselors advise you to make. In brief, Traveling by Your Inner Compass means:

• Living by your heart, not society’s expectations (or your own guilt)
• Following an interesting path, even if it isn’t the straightest one
• Accepting that all plans have to change, and looking forward to the new opportunities that change brings
• Recognizing that nothing lasts forever – even the really good and really bad stuff

If that sounds like something that speaks to you, I hope you’ll follow along. This is the first post in a five part series, so keep reading all week!

Finding Your Direction

The first step in taking a journey is to find out where you would like to go. Sure, you could just start walking. If you’re the type of person who is comfortable with that, I definitely support your wandering. However, if you’re reading this site, you probably want some sort of guidance in your travels.

Before you can start Traveling by Your Inner Compass, you first have to find where it’s pointed. What do I mean by that? We all have hopes and desires that excite us to the core of being. Think about an idea, relationship or a project you’ve been involved in that just made you feel giddy, like there were 1,000 butterflies having a dance party in your stomach. That’s the type of excitement we’re looking for!

Most of us have spent a lot of time and energy trying to squash the thoughts that get us this excited. We’ve decided to do what is “ safe” by going to school, picking a “practical” occupation, and finding a “secure” job. If you’ve done this and you can honestly say that you are 100% happy with your choices, then I applaud you. No need to read further. If you’re one of the 99.9% of the planet’s population that thinks things could be a bit better for you, this post is talking to you.

It may seem hard to discover what excites you, but I think you’ll find that it’s actually quite simple. Here’s an exercise you can do in 10 minutes to figure it out:

Take out a sheet of paper and list all of the things that you do in a typical week. (This doesn’t include vacations are anything unusual like that.)

Put a + next to everything you think is Fun, and a – next to everything you think is Not Fun.

Think about what the Fun things have in common. As an example, they might be activities where you get to help people, they may be times of quiet reflection, creativity, extreme sports, or what have you.

Give the Fun things a label like “Adventure,” “Serving Others,” or “Constantly Learning.” That is your direction for the year. (Some people call this a theme, so if that helps, use it.)

I know this seems way too simple to work, but that is the whole point! This process should be easy and it should be super fun! Even the hard stuff should be super fun! If you have to force yourself to work on something, then it isn’t what your heart really wants. Keep doing it if it’s the only way to pay your bills, but other than that, let it go. (We’ll talk about this more in other parts of this series.)

My Direction for 2009

I’d be a total hypocrite if I didn’t follow my own advice, so I’ll be doing the exercises as we go along as well. When I made my list of Fun and Not Fun stuff, I realized that I have been enjoying all of the opportunities I’ve had in the past few years to travel and meet new people. I’ve also had the chance to meet some cool people in the virtual world. I’m not always the best at nurturing relationships, but I value them a lot. Because of that, my direction for 2009 is: Reach Out.

I think it’s a great direction to travel in and I’m super excited about it. In fact, my first action based on Reach Out is to invite all of you to travel along with me for the rest of this week. Tomorrow we are going to explore ways to start taking the first steps in your new direction.

I also invite everyone to do the 10 minute exercise and share your theme in the comments, or on your own blog. If you’re a blogger, just send me a link at maria (at) neverthesamerivertwice (dot) com and I’ll include you on an update to this post.

Here’s to an awesome journey in 2009!!

Photo by Kriss Szkurlatowski

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If you know a personal development junkie, you know that they can’t ever learn enough, do enough, or improve enough. I have read/listened to/used all of these products myself over the years and found them extremely helpful in my own journey. I hope that they are helpful to you and your loved ones as well.

Books

There are literally thousands of self-help and self improvement books in print right now. It’s easy to get overwhelmed by all of the choices, especially when so many of them are pretty low quality. Lucky for you, I have suffered through a lot of the craptacular stuff to find the good offerings in the market. Here are a few that I have found especially good.

The Art of Happiness. When the Dalai Lama decided to write a book, I usually pay attention. This one, which was actually written by Howard Cutler based on a series of interviews with His Holiness, contains many valuable insights on achieving greater happiness in your life. What I like most about it are the really practical meditations and other exercises designed to increase the happiness you feel on a daily basis. Also available as an audio book.

A Complaint Free World. This book challenges you to change your language and eliminate complaining. I tried the challenge for a weekend (listen to my before and after posts), and found out that I really need this book! Chances are, you need it too! Also available as an audio book.

Change Without Pain. Change management is a broad and varied topic, and I’ve read tons of books about it. This is one of the best. Author Eric Abrahamson uses real world examples from his work with actual companies to discover ways that companies (and individuals) can make major changes with the smallest possible disruptions and pain. If you or your organization are in a transition right now, this is a great read.

Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. We all want to be able to get more done with less effort and enjoy ourselves in the process. Flow is a great book for helping you discover the conditions under which you can achieve peak states, where you feel the most creative, get the most work done, and enjoy yourself the most. It’s a concept I’ve been experimenting with lately and I’m finding it extremely helpful in doing all of the writing that I put out here and in other places.

The Mind Map Book. Author Tony Buzan is widely credited with being the father of mind-mapping, a powerful tool for brainstorming, organizing ideas, and even doing a weekly review. This book is the bible of mind mapping, teaching you how to use simple paper and pencil to explore the visual side of your brain and tap into previously unknown levels of creativity.

The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life. Martha Beck may have sold out to Oprah, and she’s probably a bit too touchy-feely for some of you, but I have to admit that I *love* this book. The Joy Diet is a really simple series of practices that will help you take a deep breath, focus in yourself for a few minutes a day, de-stress, and ultimately become a better friend, partner, parent, and worker. I highly recommend it for people who are feeling overwhelmed by life right now. Also available as an audio book.

Electronic Products

Let’s say you’re a bit of a procrastinator and you’re not reading this guide until 11:59 on December 24. Or perhaps your the eco-friendly type and you don’t want to give out a bunch of dead trees and plastic. If so, there are many great electronic resources available for self improvement. In fact, there are so many that it’s pretty hard to figure out what is garbage (most of it, frankly) and what is genuinely helpful. For the most part, I try to stick with trusted names from either the blogosphere or the self development space in general when choosing products. Here is a sampling of items that I have found most helpful.

• Zen to Done. Blogger Leo Babauta of Zen Habits has developed his own productivity system and I’m a huge fan. It’s more streamlined than the uber-popular Getting Things Done and focuses more on execution. This ebook sells for a very reasonable $9.95.
• Anything from Web Warrior Tools. This site is a collection of high quality, low priced ebooks dealing with several self improvement products. They have ebooks that focus on finances, others that help you get organized or work more efficiently, and still others that help you get healthy. Anything they put out is great and cheap!
• Never Procrastinate Again. Another very popular blogger, Dave Navarro of Rock Your Day (love that name) has a great audio/video/text coaching course that helps you fend off procrastination when it strikes. Dave can be *very* motivating and he’s sure to deliver the swift kick in the butt that you or your loved one needs to get going. The entire course is a mere $37.
• Quantum Mind Power. I have been using the Quantum Mind Power meditation tracks for over a year now and continue to find them valuable. Essentially, this product is a package of audio tracks that put your mind into a meditative state without having to go through the years of training that Zen monks and others go through to train their minds. If you’re interested in learning more about the system, I encourage you to read my review. There are two versions of this product, the regular versions which sells for $147 or a premium package with 2 additional tracks (I don’t have these, so I haven’t reviewed them) for $197. It’s a bit expensive (and you have to suffer through a cheesy sales letter to order!), but I think it is well worth the price considering how much you can spend on meditation books, classes, and audio tracks. Also, I’m told that the system is now available as a physical product with real CDs.

Free Stuff

I know that money is tight for many people this holiday season, but that doesn’t have to get in the way of giving meaningful gifts to people who want to improve themselves. With so many excellent free resources available, it’s very simple to download some high quality free ebooks, print them out on some nice paper and put them into a binder. Or, you can download some podcasts and burn them to a CD. Here are a few high quality, free ebooks that you or your loved ones might appreciate. Note that some of these require a newsletter sign-up. Don’t sign anyone up without their permission, but I am subscribed to all of these newsletters and I love them, so don’t hesitate to sign yourself up.

• A Year of Change. As a change blogger, you can’t blame me for loving The Change Blog. Blog author Peter Clements has bundled some of his best posts into this fabulous looking and very interesting ebook.
• How to Practice the Art of Life Balance. We could all use some tips for improving the balance in our lives, and this ebook has plenty of them. This ebook is the result of the Life Balance Group Writing Project at the Create a Balance blog. Many great bloggers contributed to it – including me – and I thank blogger Stacey Weckstein for hosting it.
• Secrets to Creating More Inner Peace. Okay, I had to pimp my own stuff here a bit. But seriously, I think this is a pretty good quality free ebook all on the theme of increasing your inner peace. At this hectic time of the year, I know that I need to follow my own advice a little more closely!

If there are other resources (especially free ones!) you can recommend as high quality personal development gifts, please share them below in the comments! Happy shopping, everyone.

Full Disclosure: This post is blatantly self promotional and designed to make a little extra holiday cash for Never the Same River Twice. I earn a (very) small amount of money per sale for most of these items. However, I never promote anything on this site that I haven’t used myself and don’t stand behind completely. If you have a bad experience with any of these products, send an email to maria (at) neverthesamerivertwice (dot) com explaining the problem and I’ll reconsider my endorsement.

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The holiday party season leads to an average weight gain of at least 1 pound every year – for fit people! If you’re already a bit overweight, chances are you’ll gain an average of 5 pounds between now and January 2. Unfortunately, despite $$$$ spent on gym memberships and millions of New Year’s resolutions, most of us don’t lose that weight once we gain it, so it’s easy to see how gaining a pound this year can lead to an unhealthy snowball effect.

The good news is that it’s not too late to stay healthy and maintain your current weight during this holiday season. Unless you’re really hardcore, or have no social life, it is nearly impossible to lose weight during this time of year, but you can definitely maintain your current weight and start the New Year off right. Here are five tips that will help you accomplish that goal – if you follow them!

1. Listen to Mom, Eat Your Breakfast. You may be tempted to skip breakfast during this time of year, thinking that you’re saving those calories for later. Unfortunately, that doesn’t really help, as you’ll just overeat by even more calories later. Instead, eat a small, healthy breakfast. Lately I’ve been rocking a banana and spinach smoothie (much more tasty than it sounds!). 2 bananas, a big handful of spinach, and some water equals about 200 calories, but packs a lot of nutrition.
2. Chomp Some Veggies and Protein Before the Party. Pre-eating is your friend if you’re trying to avoid tasty temptation. Before going to a social event, try eating a medium sized salad with some boiled eggs or chicken. If you’re vegan, substitute some walnuts. The fiber in the veggies will keep you full for a while and the protein will stabilize your blood sugar and help you fend off cravings.
3. Only Eat It If You Love It. Now, I’m certainly not going to tell you skip all wonderful pies, cookies, potatoes, and all of the other sinful delights that we enjoy so much. I mean c’mon, it’s the holidays! The way to do damage control in this area is to only eat the things that you absolutely love. If you would kill for some hot apple pie (and I would!), go for it. Not so hot on peanut brittle? Skip it, it’s not worth your time. A good strategy when challenged by an overflowing dinner buffet is to survey all of the offerings and pick out a selection of 5-10 favorites to enjoy. You won’t feel deprived after dinner, but you also won’t be rolling like a bowling ball when it’s time to leave.
4. Drink Clear Stuff. Holiday cheer often includes some delicious adult beverages. There’s nothing wrong with that, but try to be a bit sensible about things. In general, clear beverages (think vodka tonic) have fewer calories than sugary drinks like punch or margaritas. As an added bonus, the lower the sugar content of drinks, the less likely they are to cause hangovers! As an alternate strategy, drink one glass of water in between every alcoholic beverage. Trust me, you’ll feel better!
5. Interval Training Revs Your Metabolism. At this time of year you don’t have time to spend 45 or 60 minutes on the treadmill every day. Don’t despair, there is a way to fit in exercise between shopping, socializing, and decorating! The secret lies in interval training, and it’s easier than you think. Instead of working out at a steady pace for a long time, pick the aerobic activity of your choice and do 1 minute of really hard work, followed by 1 minute of very easy work. Repeat this 4-8 times depending on your fitness level. With a 5 minute warm up and a 5 minute cool down, you can get a great, fat melting workout in 18-26 minutes. Try to do this 3 times a week and it will go a long way to helping you maintain your weight.

Bonus Tip: Put Some Money On It. Last year my employer ran a contest during the holidays. Everyone interested put $10 into a pot and weighed in. If you made it to the New Year without gaining more than a pound, you got your money back, plus a share of the pot from whoever didn’t make it. I was a “winner” last year and got a whopping $14 for my efforts – but it worked! I was not about to let anyone else have my $10. You can easily do this with a group of friends or coworkers and it’s a great motivator. The money isn’t the point, it’s the competition that really inspires you skip the second hot chocolate.

As we all know, there are only two ways to control your weight – eat less and move more. During the holidays you WILL be eating more, but it doesn’t have to sabotage your health and fitness. Take the time to enjoy this holiday season, eat your favorite holiday foods, and most of all, spend some great time with your friends and family.

If you enjoyed this post, I’m going to ask you a small favor. Do you see the picture at the bottom of the post that says, Tell a Friend!? Go ahead and click on it and share this post with someone that you think may enjoy it. Thank you!

Photos by severalbees and sirwiseowl

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1. How to Make Lasting Changes
2. From Unconscious to Conscious
3. Contemplation & Procrastination
4. Preparation & Planning to Act
5. 3, 2, 1… Action!
6. Maintaining the Change
7. Summing it All Up

You spent some time in contemplation. You’ve prepared your plan. Everything is in place for your change. All you have to do is … Act! Pretty simple, isn’t it? If I wanted to be flippant I could end this post right now.

But, wait. What’s that you say? Action is the hardest part of change?

Right you are.

Human beings are really good at procrastinating. It’s such an issue that there is an entire industry churning out motivational material, affirmations, lifehacks and even ways to outsource all of the things that you’re going to procrastinate anyway! Yet we still continue to avoid taking actions that we truly think will be helpful to us.

As one example, in the time I’ve been working on this post, I’ve managed to check my email (several times), make a big pot of soup, get some laundry done, and watch some bad television. As you can see, I’m not immune to the procrastination bug even though I’m well aware of the psychology that causes it.

By the time you or your organization has reached the action stage of change, you are convinced that you need to make a change and you have confidence in your ability to do so. You’ve made the needed preparations. Now it’s time to enact your plans. So why are you frozen? And how can you break through that feeling and accomplish real change?

Action. Change with a Big “C”

The action stage of change is where activity becomes visible. In the previous stages, most of the work taking place is in the mind of the individual, or is in the form of preliminary planning. The action stage is where all of the observable, measurable results start to take place.

This stage begins at the first concrete action – the first workout, nicotine patch, or policy rewrite – and continues until the desired change is accomplished. For ongoing changes such as lifestyle alterations, action continues until the new behavior becomes a habit or a standard operating procedure. At that point you move into the maintenance stage which lasts anywhere from months to years until the rest of your life, depending on the circumstances.

Because this stage is so visible, action is what we tend to think about when we think of the word change. For most of us change = doing something. So why do we resist taking action with so much energy? There are a few common reasons. Each of these could be a book by itself, but I will try to explain them concisely so that we can all get busy on our changes!

• Fear of Failure. Fear of Success. Completing a change has consequences. Generally, the larger the change, the greater the consequences. Some of these consequences are positive (you get healthier) and some are negative (men start staring at your newly thin body). In either event, you may have a fear of failing and not getting the positives. You could also have a fear of succeeding and having to deal with the negatives. Your internal dialogue about these fears can keep you from taking action.
• This Stuff Seems Hard. Some of the steps you have to take to change effectively may seem very difficult. To loose a significant amount of weight you may have to change your diet completely (no peanut butter cups), and keep it that way for a long time. To really change a company you may have to fire people who don’t fit into your new vision. These unpleasant realities are legitimate parts of a change process. Your motivation to change has to be strong enough to push you past these.
• Moving a Body at Rest. Human behavior has a lot in common with a freight train. It’s hard to get started and even harder to tun, but once it gets going, it gets easier and easier to keep it moving. However, the initial step of getting the train going can be really daunting.

Three Ways to (Temporarily) Overcome Procrastination

Let’s be honest. I cannot stop you from procrastinating. Entire industries of self-help books cannot stop you from procrastinating. You will always procrastinate to one degree or another. However, there are lots of ways to temporarily get past your blocks and start acting.

1. Use Your Momentum. By passing through the contemplation and preparation stages with energy and focus, you have gained some momentum that will help you power through some of the blocks and objections you may have to parts of the change. You’ve already done some of the hard work of getting the freight train rolling. By moving quickly (are you sensing a theme by now) to implement the initial steps of your change you keep your momentum going.
2. Take Mircrosteps. There are many changes that require hard work, but they usually don’t require all the hard work to be done at once. Strategize ways that you can break up the change into very small steps. Then get started one walk, one cigarette, one procedure at a time. I’ve used this technique myself on long runs. If I’m getting tired, I’ll concentrate on just reaching the next telephone pole, then the next, then the next. Do this enough and you will make lots of progress.
3. Keep Your Motivation High. Constantly remind yourself of why you decided to make a change. What are the consequences of not completing the change? What pain will you have to go through? How great will it feel when you have accomplished your goal? Change can be a long road. By keeping yourself focused on your motivation you can keep going until you start to see the benefits of the change.

What’s Next?

Most of us think of change as being done at the action stage. We make our plan, we act on it, end of story. This isn’t actually the case. Think about it this way. Would you buy a car and then never get the oil changed? (If you said yes, this series probably isn’t for you ) Like cars, most changes require some ongoing Maintenance. That’s what we’ll cover in the next part of this series.

To learn how to make changes that stick, sign up to receive automatic updates from this site using an RSS feed reader or in your email.

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