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Alex Shalman has created an awesome interview series and group writing project for February asking at least one blogger per day to share his or her definition of happiness. I’ve been following this series all month a have really enjoyed some great interviews with people like Darren Rowse, Jeremy Shoemaker, and Gretchen Rubin. In the spirit of the project, I took some time to think about what happiness means to me and share it in this space

The Questions
1. How do you define happiness?

For me, happiness is the sweet spot that happens when I’m moving toward my ideals at a steady pace. Through lots of trial and error I’ve come to realize that I like to move along at the pace of a gently flowing river. If I try to go too fast I become like a flood - full of debris and turmoil. However, if I don’t put enough effort into my progress, I stagnate and begin to recede as if in a drought.

2. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your happiness now, versus when you were a child?

I’m much happier now than as a child. When I was a kid, I didn’t have a lot of room for self-determination or pursuing my own goals. Although I had a good childhood overall, I would say I was usually about a 5 on the happiness scale. Now I try to always remain conscious of my choices and my level of responsibility to create my own happiness. Most days I’m probably a 7 or 8 on the scale and that has been increasing over the past few years.

3. What do you do on a daily basis that brings you happiness? (and how consistent is the feeling of happiness throughout your day)

I’m a lot happier throughout the day than I was even a few years ago, which has been a big improvement in my life. The things I’ve done to increase my happiness are to use tools like brainwave entrainment and tapping to improve my mood instantly, but I also stay much more consciously focused on not getting caught up in drama and maintaining my general direction. Just realizing that other people’s happiness isn’t really my responsibility has helped me with this tremendously.

Also, I have decided to make happiness a priority in my life, so I’ve gotten much more proactive about making small changes that add up over time to make a smiley Maria

4. What things take away from your happiness? What can be done to lessen their impact or remove them from your life?

I find that I’m really sensitive to other people’s negative energy. Like many women, I try to “fix” everyone and diffuse conflict - even when it’s none of my business. This leaves me feeling drained and too often I soak up negative energy like a sponge. As much as possible, I try to let people have their own arguments now. If someone asks for my help, I’ll give it, but I’m trying really hard to stay out of places I haven’t been invited to.

I am also experimenting a lot with eliminating and outsourcing obligations that don’t bring me a lot a happiness or fulfillment. This goes for things like household chores as well as for meetings, social obligations, and volunteer commitments that I no longer enjoy. My goal is to do things because I chose to do them, not because I feel guilty if I don’t do them!

5. What do you plan on doing in the future that will bring you even more happiness?

I plan to continue to move in the direction of my chosen compass point. To me this means, making steady progress every day (allowing for days off, of course!) and doing what I can to contribute value in the world. I plan to love the people I love, meet new people and learn from them, and maybe get a dog

To me, the best news is that I feel like I’ve built up some good momentum and my life will continue to get better from here.

My thanks to Alex for sponsoring this great group writing project. If you have thoughts about what makes you happy, please share them below, or visit the project’s main page and explore some other ideas.

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