Sliding Scales - Change vs. Accept It As It Is

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mechanics_sliders_slider_277935_m.jpgWhen I introduced the concept of Sliding Scales of Change, I explained that the first step in any change process is to decide whether to change the situation at all. This is often harder than it seems. Humans are analytical creatures, constantly weighing possibilities against each other. This can leave us stuck in “analysis paralysis” waiting for the fact or argument that will finally make the “right” choice clear.

Sitting at 5
Going back to the concept of a 1 to 10 scale, if you were unable to decide whether to Change or Accept It As It Is (and it doesn’t matter what “It” is - if you know what I mean :) you would be at a 5. Regardless of what the song says, to me 5 is the Loneliest Number. I hate being stuck with two legitimate choices and no way of figuring out what I want to do. If the situation and choices are large enough - such as deciding to end or continue a relationship, or to sell or keep the business - it can feel like your entire life is on hold. Fortunately, there are some techniques for getting past this.

Any Decision Can Be the Right Decision
When deciding between two equally legitimate choices, we tend to over magnify the importance of the choice. We have mental dialogues such as, “I have to choose the right career or my life will be ruined!” or “If I don’t decide who to go on a date with I will never find love!” We all need to get over ourselves right now. Very few decisions will ruin your chances for happiness for the rest of your life and even fewer are life and death.

The book Goal Free Living makes the argument that “No matter what decision you make, it is the right decision, if you truly commit to it and never look back.” I especially like this post from the author Stephen Shapiro that recommends making major life decisions using Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Be a 1 or Be a 10
The worst choice we can make in any situation is to Not Choose. Indecision is a like a weight that we carry around and it slows down our progress. Whatever tool you find most helpful in making a decision, use it and get as close to a 1 or a 10 as possible. Don’t look back, don’t second guess and trust that any path is going to lead you to an interesting place.

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Related posts:

  1. Sliding Scales of Change
  2. Sliding Scales - Rapid vs. Gradual Change
  3. Sliding Scales - Putting It All Together
  4. Sliding Scales - Creative Destruction vs. Creative Recombination
  5. What is Decision Making?

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  1. AvatarBrooke
    1

    Maria-
    I agree with you on this. The thought that finally helped me get over “analysis paralysis” when it came to getting married was the realization that this was not the last decision I was ever going to make in my life. And whether or not I decided to get married to my (now) husband, I was going to be fine. This way of thinking gave me the ability to get out of my paralysis and “take the plunge”. 6 1/2 years later I am glad I didn’t stay stuck.
    Thanks for the great article!
    Brooke

    Reply to this comment.
  2. Avatarmaria.gajewski
    2
    Author Comment

    That’s a good point, Brooke. Of course I wish you and your husband many years of happiness, but even marriage isn’t an irreversible decision.

    Reply to this comment.
  3. pingback pingback:
    3
    What is Decision Making?

    [...] For those of us who tend to suffer from analysis paralysis, I have good news. As I’ve mentioned before on this blog, in many cases it doesn’t really matter what you decide. [...]

    Reply to this comment.
1. Brooke - August 2, 2007

Maria-
I agree with you on this. The thought that finally helped me get over “analysis paralysis” when it came to getting married was the realization that this was not the last decision I was ever going to make in my life. And whether or not I decided to get married to my (now) husband, I was going to be fine. This way of thinking gave me the ability to get out of my paralysis and “take the plunge”. 6 1/2 years later I am glad I didn’t stay stuck.
Thanks for the great article!
Brooke

2. maria.gajewski - August 6, 2007

That’s a good point, Brooke. Of course I wish you and your husband many years of happiness, but even marriage isn’t an irreversible decision.

3. What is Decision Making? - October 22, 2007

[...] For those of us who tend to suffer from analysis paralysis, I have good news. As I’ve mentioned before on this blog, in many cases it doesn’t really matter what you decide. [...]

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